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"Time In a Blender, Part 1"
by keaton the writer
Gordon was, without a doubt, the biggest dork in Beaver Point, Minnesota. He
stood a gangly 6’2, 135lbs., with a pasty, acne-filled complexion, and greasy
hair to boot. During his freshman year in high school he was actually voted
"Most Likely Never to Get Laid"; a joke even the school faculty found quite
humorous. He did try to fit in, though; One time, he went out for the basketball
team, but the coaches laughed at him so hard, one of them had to go to the
hospital. Another time he showed up at a party, and some of the football players
held him down, took his pants, filled his tighty-whiteys with Jell-O, and threw
him in the pool. Gordon was at the end of his sophomore year now, and it was
painfully obvious he didn’t fit in with anyone…even the "Dungeons and Dragons"
club kicked him out because they thought he ruined theirimage.
To make things even worse, Gordon didn’t even fit in with his own family. His
father was a handsome, self-confident, auto-parts salesman, who spent most of
his time on the road, and when he was home, didn’t pay much attention to anyone
except his beautiful wife, Gordon’s step-mom. His step-mother was a huge
socialite around Beaver Point, and she threw a lot of parties, and stuff like
that, so Gordon often just embarrassed her by his appearance and reputation. His
stepsister, Caroline, was a hot cheerleader, not to mention one of the most
popular girls at Beaver Point High. His Dad ignored him, his stepmother was a